


I Dont Wanna Be Your Friend (I Wanna Kiss Your Neck)

by leader_minho



Category: Maggie Steifvater, Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater, The Raven Boys
Genre: Adam is my little cinamon roll, Adam thinks he is unknowable, Angst, But really he isnt, I guess this is just Ronan sleeping over at Adams, M/M, Ronan is his usual sarcastic trash self, Slow Build, but I love him, even though he complains about the air-con and the uncomfortable bed all the time
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-12
Updated: 2015-04-12
Packaged: 2018-03-22 11:08:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3726481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leader_minho/pseuds/leader_minho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a few minutes Adam was almost ready to give up. He could hear Ronan shifting around, could hear when he drank deeply from the can, could hear when he cooed at Chainsaw affectionately. He slammed the text book shut and pulled the pen from his mouth, turning around to face Ronan. "Could you shut up?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi,  
> So this is the first Pynch fic I have written so far so if it goes well I'll put up chapter two!  
> I just really love these two boys.
> 
> Kudos and comments would be greatly appreciated please and thank you
> 
> Title taken from fallingforyou by The 1975
> 
> Edit: Chapter Two up by tomorrow? Let's hope so x

Adam lifted his head from his hands, grimacing as the muscles in his neck protested.  
"Ouch." Adam grumbled, forlornly rubbing his hand over his sore muscles. He had dozed off at his desk, head pillowed in a physics text book. Adam huffed out a breath of exasperation, he hadn't meant to fall asleep, only rest his tired eyes for a few minutes. He pressed his hands to his head, the cacophony of the ley line was exhausting him. 

Adam pushed out his chair, bracing his hands against the edge of the desk, knuckles turning white. The bruises were slowly changing colour; from an ugly purply-brown to a sick looking yellow. The cuts on his knuckles were also healing, now they were stretched tight, pale against his tanned skin. A few days ago he had punched a wall when the ley line had gotten too loud in his head. 

Adam sighed, sitting up and rubbing his bleary eyes with the palms of his hands. An arrogant thump at the door echoed through his small apartment.  
Adam glanced at the digital clock beside his bed, the red glowing numbers read 9:15pm. A fleeting moment of anxiety passed over Adam as he worried what it would be. Usually if it was something important Gansey would call him. 

Reaching the door in a matter of seconds -Adams apartment was tiny- he pulled it open hesitantly, peering round the side of the door, the paint on the edge was peeling a little.  
"Oh, it's you."  
You was Ronan, he was standing at the doorway, smiling at Adam like a viper, lips curved into a dangerous smirk. He looked like a warrior, biceps muscled and pale, the edge of his Celtic tattoo creeping it's way up his back and curling around the top of his right shoulder. His black tank top was tight fitting against his damp skin, expensive jeans slung low on his hips, leaving a glimpse of pale skin and the trace of a happy trail leading to- Oh hell no, Adam was not going to think about that. Not while Ronan was still looking at him with a smile made for war.  
"How very welcoming of you Parrish." Ronan drawled, dark blue eyes glittering. Adam swallowed. Chainsaw, Ronan's raven, sitting upon his shoulder, squawked out an impatient caw as the two Aglionby boys stared at each other for maybe too long.  
Adam cleared his throat, focusing on the peeling paint, he picked at it with slender fingers, absentmindedly flicking it onto the floor.  
"What do you want?" He asked, his voice was low, still husky from sleep.  
Ronan reached up and ran a finger along Chainsaw's sleek black head, gently soothing the raven. "I was just," he hesitated, "I was wondering if I can hang out here for a while."  
Adam frowned, pretending to deliberate, although they both knew that he would say yes. Adam could never say no to Ronan. 

He opened the door wider, letting Ronan through. Ronan's shoulder brushed against Adam lightly, if it had been anyone else, Adam would have hardly noticed, although now, his skin tingled and broke out in goosebumps. The small touch felt like the ley line sometimes did, crackles of electricity moving up and down his body, turning the blood in his veins to bubbling energy, making the hairs on the back of his neck stand to attention.  
Adam shivered, Ronan and the ley line were equally as potent. 

 

•••  
Ronan sunk down onto Adams bed, lying back and stretching out as if he belonged there, as if he owned the place. Adam couldn't help the feeling that something was just right with the scene now that Ronan was here.  
"What are you doing?" Ronan asked, his eyes closed and his arms behind his head.  
"Huh?"  
Ronan exhaled, -how could he make breathing sound sarcastic?- opened his startlingly blue eyes and sat up, propped against the wall. Always one for hating repetition, he nodded towards the open text book on Adams desk.  
"Oh, I was studying."  
Ronan laughed softly, "Of course. There was nothing rude or sarcastic about the way he said it, something incredibly unusual for Ronan, who used his words as weapons.  
Adam narrowed his eyes at Ronan, trying to ignore the exposed skin of his flat stomach as Ronan extended his arms above his head in a cat-like stretch.  
"Want a drink? I'm going to study some more."  
Ronan grunted noncommittally, which Adam took for a yes. He walked over to the tiny kitchenette and pulled out two cans of Coke from the fridge. Beads of perspiration clung to the sides of the chilled cans, Adam handed one to Ronan. 

He sat down at his desk, grabbing a pen and chewing on it in frustration. Now he wasn't going to get any studying done, Ronan was too much of a distraction. Chainsaw was busy rummaging through the pile of miscellaneous objects on the bedside cabinet, tugging out vaguely shiny things and making her own pile, chirping humorously. Adam watched her curiously, marvelling at how Ronan had made her, at how she was a dream thing. Adam could feel Ronan's eyes on him, he coughed self consciously and then turned back to the text book, running a hand through his hair and trying to keep his cheeks from burning. 

 

•••

After a few minutes Adam was almost ready to give up. He could hear Ronan shifting around, could hear when he drank deeply from the can, could hear when he cooed at Chainsaw affectionately. He slammed the text book shut and pulled the pen from his mouth, turning around to face Ronan. "Could you shut up?"  
Ronan raised an eyebrow at him amusedly, "I thought you were studying."  
"I was! Now I can't because you're here." Adam glared at Ronan, defiantly crossing his arms over his chest and definitely not noticing how Ronan's lips were curled in a small smile. "Why are you here anyway?" He asked with less fire, uncrossing his arms and fiddling with a ripped up sheet of notes. "Did you fight with Gansey?"  
Ronan shrugged, "No, I just can't sleep, thought it might be better if I came here."  
Adam nodded slightly, he knew of Ronan's insomnia, ever since he had found his dad; bloody and beaten to death with a tire iron, Ronan hadn't really been able to sleep properly.  
They sat in silence for a while, it wasn't really a silence though, more like a comfortable quiet; filled with the soft rustle of Chainsaw's wings, and the rhythmic breathing of the two Aglionby boys. Adam didn't feel awkward, didn't feel as if he had to fill the silence by making useless conversation, instead he felt comforted, as if Ronan's presence was calming and safe. 

Adam stole a look at Ronan, heat rushing to his face when he saw that Ronan was staring straight back. He cleared his throat, ruffling a hand through his dusty blonde hair. The clock read 9:45pm, Adam rubbed his eyes, feeling exhaustion flowing over him like the slow trickle of a stream. It was constant; this lethargy. Since making his sacrifice to Cabeswater Adam had never really felt rested, as if something was draining him of energy, like a leech drains blood. Sometimes he woke up in the dead of the night to find his skin thrumming with energy, the ley line alive and shivering underneath him. Other times he felt he could hardly get out of bed, lethargic and slow, pulled down into darkness by his connection to the ley line. The ley line was never intentional in its destruction. It only ever wanted Adam to understand. Sometimes it took a screaming apparition, a howling wind rattling his windows, an imaginary women sobbing in the reflection of his dirty mirror for it to get its point across. It always stopped as soon is Adam understood. 

I will be your hands, I will be your eyes.

Adam sat for a while, the tips of his slender fingers pressed lightly to his forehead, eyes closed against the weariness. His neck still ached and he felt a pen digging into his elbow.  
A sleepy sounding noise came from behind him, Adam turned in his chair, finding with surprise Ronan's sleeping form sprawled out on Adams bed. One hand was shoved under the pillow, the other slung out at a very uncomfortable looking angle, his legs were curled up underneath him. Adam bit back a sigh, he'd have to sleep on the floor.  
He closed his text book and as quietly as he could, crept over to the cupboard and pulled out a duvet and another pillow.  
"Adam?" Ronan's sleepy voice called out to him.  
"What Lynch? Go back to sleep you crazy bastard."  
Ronan scooted over, leaving enough room for another person to lie there. For Adam to lie there.  
He patted the space lazily, his eyes still closed. "You can sleep here Parrish."  
"Oh gee thanks, my own bed."  
Adams sarcasm was wasted on Ronan, who had promptly fallen asleep again. Adam wondered sadly at that, Ronan; who had never had a full nights sleep since his dad died. He pushed away the depressing thought, shoving the duvet and pillow back into the cupboard.  
He crossed the room slowly, ducking his head to avoid the low beams, clucking softly to Chainsaw as she fluttered to a stop at the bedside table.  
Ronan was still wearing his shoes, Adam tutted like a mother hen, tugging them off and placing them on the floor. He pulled the blanket up over Ronan, tucking it in at the sides. He walked around to the other side and smoothed out the sheets, fluffed up his pillow and straightened the duvet.  
He was stalling.  
It's just Ronan, Adam thought chewing his bottom lip. But 'just Ronan' was definitely not just Ronan. Ronan was fierce and loyal, protective of his friends and family (excluding Declan) Ronan was a snake, a viper. Coiled and ready to strike at anything or anyone, barbed with cutting remarks and a deadly smile. He was reckless, playing with dreams like a kitten with a cotton ball, although no one should ever relate those two together. Adam knew that Ronan was dangerous. Adam also knew that he was unknowable. 

Adam turned the lights off, leaving the curtains open so silver light spilled through the solitary window and pooled on the bare floor and the bed. Ronan was caught in a beam of moonlight, the silvery glow highlighting his cheeks and darkening his eyelashes. His skin looked pale, smooth and unblemished. Adam looked away before he did something stupid, like trace Ronan's lips with his finger, or run his hand over the buzzed hair on his head.  
Oh my god.

Chainsaw was watching him intently, her gaze not unlike Ronan's when he intended to intimidate.  
"I'm not stalling." Adam whispered to her, feeling like he had to explain himself to a bird.  
Adam pulled his shirt over his head, dropping it in the wash basket, it was splattered with oil and car-grease from work. Adam huffed. The Henrietta dirt and car grease couldn't stay off him. He wasn't blue blooded like Gansey or Ronan, whose money seemed to repel dirt. 

Adam wasn't going to sleep in his jeans, that was a recipe for no circulation in his legs and a whole night of discomfort. They had to go. He pulled them off too, leaving him standing in his boxers.  
"Yes, I'm doing it. I'm doing it." Adam hissed at the raven as she chirped humorously, seeming to enjoy his mild anxiety about Adam getting into bed with Ronan Lynch.  
He peeled back the covers, sliding into bed and stiffening as Ronan mumbled something in his sleep and rolled over. A warm hand snaked over Adams chest, fingers splayed out over his ribs. Adam flailed around with his free arm, the other one was pressed up against Ronan.  
"Get off me, Lynch." Adam mumbled, although his tone was ... affectionate? No, no way. Adam was not affectionate with Ronan Lynch. It was lucky that Ronan was unconscious otherwise he would've given Adam hell and maybe snarled at him enough to resemble a pit bull.  
Ronan's face was close to Adams, warm breath escaping through partially opened lips. Adam closed his eyes, trying really hard not to think of how those lips would feel on his. Soft, maybe? And how would he kiss? Hard and needy, little lip bites and a little more tongue. And what about neck kisses? Adam groaned in annoyance, he rubbed the back of his hands hard against his eyes, as if he could stop the mental images that played in his head of Ronan kissing his way along Adams jaw and down his throat. 

Adam couldn't remember when he had begun to develop more than just friendship feelings for Ronan. But one day Ronan's dark, sleek BMW was idling outside and Ronan was hanging out the side of his open window with his terrible electronic music playing, looking equally as dark and dangerous as his car, waiting for Adam to come out and Adam had felt his heart jump at the site of him. 

And when Adam realised he just carried on and got in the passenger seat beside him and tried not to look at Ronan. 

That was when Adam had still lived with his father, that was when he still went to school with barely healed bruises on his cheeks. That was when his father went on drunken rants about 'fags' and how they should all be put down. That was when Adam was afraid.

Now he had a bigger thing to deal with; the ley line. It wasn't terrifying like his father. Sometimes Adam felt thrilled and slightly in awe of it, but it had never hurt him or scared him with intent. Adam was here to help it. He had made his sacrifice and in turn the ley line protected him. 

Adam was pulled back from his thoughts by a sleepy mumble from Ronan.  
"What's that?"  
Ronan snuffled and then burrowed his face deeper into Adams chest, Adam was certain that he could hear his heart pounding out a beat as loud as the Camaro's engine.  
"God Ronan, get off." Adam said. Because he couldn't say the truth. Couldn't say that he wanted Ronan to open his eyes and wake up and see what he was doing and then grin and snuggle up even closer. Couldn't say that he wanted Ronan to wrap his arms tighter around Adam and hold him until he forgot how his fathers face had looked right before he hit him. Couldn't say that he wanted it so bad that it made his chest ache. 

Fuck. I am so fucked. 

•••

Adam woke to bright sunlight streaming in through the open curtains. He blinked rapidly, trying to dispel the woozy feeling of having been woken up from a deep sleep.  
Adam realised there was something warm pressed up against his back, he wriggled a little in the arms that held him, they were wrapped gently around the curve of his torso, fingers brushing lightly against the exposed skin of his stomach.  
Ronan.  
Adam frantically disentangled himself from Ronan, he wanted to stay there cuddled up to him so badly it hurt. But he couldn't. It felt like someone had taken an apple corer and shoved it in his heart, twisting it cruelly. Ronan could never love Adam. Ronan could never love someone as unknowable as him. As damaged. As broken. 

Ronan made an annoyed noise in the back of his throat, he furrowed his brows and then opened his eyes to alertness. "Adam-?" He grunted, sighting upright and staring at Adam with surprise and something else brightening his eyes. "What the motherfucking fuck?"  
Adam bit back a sigh, Ronan loved collecting together swear words in a way not unlike old ladies collecting stamps or unique cookbooks.  
"Could you maybe keep the swearing down to a minimum? For fucks sake, Ronan, it's too early in the morning for that shit."  
Ronan grinned like a viper ready to strike. And then he faltered, his eyes went from Adam to the rumpled bed. Adam realised with a jolt that he was shirtless.  
Ronan narrowed his eyes and then rubbed a hand over his head, front to back.  
"I fell asleep here? All night? Fuck."  
Adam got up and retrieved a clean t-shirt from his crappy clothes drawer. He turned back around to Ronan, noting as Ronan's eyes flickered to him and then away, his disinterest practised but incomplete.  
"That's good though right? A full nights sleep." Adam asked, wondering why Ronan had been able to sleep properly here of all places.  
Ronan grunted and then knuckled his eyes with the backs of his hands, a small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. Adam couldn't help but realise what a nice mouth it was when it wasn't shaping viscous remarks or turned up in a dangerously wicked smirk. 

Adam pulled the shirt over his head, scared that Ronan could see the Henrietta dirt on his bare skin. He ran a hand through his tousled dusty-blonde hair and sighed.  
"I'm having a shower. Will you be here when I get back?"  
Ronan bit his bottom lip in a very un-Ronan like way, and then he shook his head. "I better get back, thanks for letting me crash here though. You'll be coming round to Monmouth later right?"  
Adam swallowed down the disappointment that crept up his throat, "Yeah I might,"  
Ronan closed his eyes for a second and then got up, smoothing out his rumpled shirt and shooting Adam a smile.  
When the door shut behind him only then did Adam let out the breath he had been holding.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update (omg I'm trash) but I basically spent the last couple of days watching Twaimz instead of writing whoops xx
> 
> Just a short wee chapter today

Ronan drove his BMW like a bat out of hell. Ironic considering he had pulled out of a church carpark. Stomping his foot down on the accelerator and slamming through the gears in quick succession. One after the other, going faster and faster until all he could hear was the growling of the engine. He couldn't stop the frantic pounding of his heart. He couldn't stop thinking about Adam. 

His heart ached like someone had shoved their hand in his chest and squeezed it. Ronan was so full of wants.   
He wanted so many things; to have a full nights sleep without nightmares, to not fight with Declan, to kiss Adam, to not fight with Gansey, to go to the Barns, to see his Dad again, to take some of the weight that Adam was holding off of his shoulders, to love, to be loved back. 

Ronan didn't know where he was going, only that he wanted to get away. He followed a winding road that curled its way up the side of the mountain that overlooked Henrietta, hands gripping tight on the steering wheels, knuckles white. 

The BMW was a sleek machine, made for racing and hand-brake turns, breaking the speed limit and attracting police attention. 

Ronan wanted to do all of those. 

He thought of Gansey ringing up Aglionby and bribing them not to suspend him. He thought of Blue watching Gansey with unfathomable sadness in her eyes. He thought of Noah, killed by his best friend, forced to live as a ghost, a mere whisper of who he was before. He thought of what it felt like to wake up this morning with Adam tucked neatly against him. 

Ronan slammed on the breaks and pulled into a turn-around. Stopping the car and holding his head in his hands, breathing in deeply through his nose and pushing the air out of his mouth. 

He was so tired of being Ronan Lynch. 

•••

Ronan drove back to Monmouth, carefully keeping to the speed limit. He thought he saw a flash of white in his rear view mirror; Kavinsky and his Mitsubishi already on the streets. He pushed down the urge to go back and find him. 

Ronan pulled into Monmouth and, because he was Ronan, slammed down on the accelerator and yanked up the hand-brake, steering the BMW into a tight circle. The back wheels spun out and gravel flew everywhere, tires screeching. 

Ronan flung open his door and slammed it behind him -he never did anything gently. A smug expression taking over his features when he saw the fresh black marks burned into the concrete. 

Gansey was waiting at the door when Ronan came in. He was wearing a cheery lemon coloured polo-shirt and a worried expression. 

"Lynch, I thought something had happened! You didn't come back last night."

Ronan arched an eyebrow at him, walking past him and flinging open the door to his room. Speeding tickets fluttered to the ground.

"Well, I'm here now. Stop your worrying and go jerk off to Glendower."

Gansey snorted, rolling his eyes not unlike the way Blue did sometimes. 

•••

Adam didn't come round to Monmouth.   
Ronan tried to convince himself the feeling that was sitting heavy in his chest was something else. The flu maybe? It felt like the flu. 

•••

At 6 o'clock, Ronan lay down on his bed and closed his eyes. Trying to keep his breathing even and rhythmic. He was more confident as the greywaren now, more sure of the fact that it would protect him, more sure that he wouldn't bring back hornets. 

Ronan was launched onto the leafy ground, hands out to catch his fall. Cabeswater was beautiful. It was not unlike Adam with its almost ethereal looks. 

Cabeswater was listening. Ronan could feel it in the cool breeze that whispered past him, picking at his shirt and rustling the leaves. 

Ronan turned away from the trees, who whispered and shivered in the wind, and faced the clear waters of the lake. The water was lapping at the shore gently, peacefully. Ronan closed his eyes and imagined what he wanted, imagined what it felt like. 

Something light and soft was in his hands. Ronan allowed himself a sharp smile and then he snapped his eyes open. 

He was in his bed. 

The cool scent of moss and water lingered in the air and Ronan breathed deeply. He couldn't move his body, but that was okay. He was getting used to the feeling of being out of his body. Used to the feeling of looking down on himself as the veins in his neck strained and his jaw clamped down and his back arched as he pulled whatever it was from his dream. 

After a while, Ronan was in his own body. He experimentally twitched his fingers, which were still gripping onto what he had brought back. 

A pillow. 

It was white, full of duck-down and pleasantly soft. Ronan smiled to himself and stroked his index finger over the seam of the pillow. 

Adam was going to like it. 

And honestly, the proud idiot would have to accept it. Ronan still had a crick in neck from last night.


End file.
